The Curriculum Of The Soul

 I learn so much from my two pugs.  Even as I watch then sleep with thier snores to be heard throughout the house they remind me of how important it is to stay in the present moment. So many days turn into years of rushing here and meeting this person and making this appoitnment on time that we dont really cherish the moment were in and when those moments are gone and are just left as a memory we want that moment back because we could have spent out time so much more wisely.  We could have given that person a little bit of more attention, we could have stopped and helped that person, we could have taken a moment out of my day to spend more time with my dogs.  I look at photos of my son and moments of his last year of life and how I was so bleessed to have him here for that year back in my home living with me. It was no accident that he spent his last year of life here.  God was giving me a gift.  From my flesh he was born and so shall he return to me. ...

My Prayer for 2025 My Prayer begins for you and those you hold dear May Love and good health fill your entire year For all my family and friends both near and far May blessings fill your year, wherever you are. Let this year bring, Love to all and help the walls of hatred fall May we open our hearts and hands unite to turn the darkness into a guiding light Oh, let this year bring less of hate,  More kind words said and not berate. May walls that divide begin to fall,  And bridges rise to welcome all. May cruel words halt before they're said,  And kindness speak instead, widespread May our prayers be the force for our nation’s guide, Keeping our leaders closely by Gods side. Grant wisdom, strength, and a heart that’s true, To lead with justice in all they do. May God’s hand of wisdom guide our presidents way, Through trials that come with each new day. May angels lead him from harm or strife, May they guide him in protecting all unborn life. Let every soldier, safely stay...

Disenfrachised grief is real...   I would have never gotten on the path to healing if it wasnt for a wonderful non profit called bravelove.   Brave Love is a non profit organazation that shines a light on the birth mother in adoption. An amazing place for support and education for anyone touched by adoption but What I love the most about bravelove besides the women that run it is that they are consciously, with intention, changing the language we use around adoption and the stigmas surrounding adoption and they're empowering birth mothers in adoption. They honor the birth/first mother and celebrate our very brave decision to make for our children.  My adoption story is very unconventional.  Its also messy, complicated, confusing and full of a lot of love..... and pain.  I wont go into my story today but If you want to know more about my adoption story, part of my adoption story, you can go to www.bravelovc.org/stories/aime e and read my first hand story and publ...

Today is my youngest daughters birthday.  Shes 32 years old today.  I remember her birth like it was yesterday, like all mothers do.  She was born on 3/13/1993 at 3:13am.  I use to joke about how I was taking her to the casino and having her pick out my numbers on the roulette table. lol  When I look back at all these years one thing becomes more clear to me and that is our most valueable commodity is our time.  In being honest with you I can say that Im not the best at time management. I probably will be late for everything Ive got scheduled. I dont know why Im that way. Its not that I disrespect the person or people Im scheduled to meet, I am just built this way I guess.  No matter how hard I try to be on time, Im late.  My mother use to tell me when I was a child that Ill be late to my own funeral. Shes probably right.  Time has a way of reminding us of what we have not yet done.  Before you know it, you find yourself in a pool of reg...

Is “Trauma” Spelled with a Capital T? It sure feels like it is. Sometimes, trauma doesn’t just feel like a capital “T”—it feels like bold, all-caps, flashing text, impossible to ignore as we navigate the pain, memories, and effects it leaves on our bodies and minds. Trauma doesn’t just visit; it often takes up residence, shaping the way we see the world and respond to it, even long after the event itself. My own life has been marked by layers of trauma. From the sexual abuse I endured as a child to the heart-wrenching loss of my son Dylan to suicide this past Father’s Day, grief and pain have been constant companions. Layer in my journey through adoption, where I made the difficult decision to place three children for adoption, and the unexpected physical and emotional scars of an accident that injured me and my dogs—it all feels like too much to carry. But trauma has a way of surprising us. Sometimes, we think we’ve moved past it, only to discover its fingerprints all over the way we ...

The brain, a magnificent and efficient machine, surpasses even the most advanced quantum computers in pattern recognition and data processing, all while operating on remarkably low energy. It's also a vast archive, storing every experience and associated emotion, a record of our personal history etched into our very being. This archive, however, can become a challenge when we dare to step outside our comfort zones and pursue our dreams. For me, writing has always been a passion. From crafting poetry as a child to journaling and blogging throughout my life, words have been my constant companions. My life, particularly my adoption story, has fueled a desire to write a memoir. I want to explore adoption from the birth mother's perspective, a narrative often missing from the readily available resources aimed at adoptive parents. Adoption, at its core, is born from loss, a truth often obscured by marketing that prioritizes a happy narrative over the complex emotions involved. Over t...